Saturday, December 6, 2014

North and South

Fall is almost over, and as I sit here in the GWN, I have made a few observations:

1. Why the hell did I zip line 18 towers? The first nine would have been plenty. I was honestly going to chicken out on the second set, once I got to the top of the first of the second nine towers. But I didn't. And I was okay, until the 6th or 7th tower, the tallest one. That one, you fling yourself from the edge of the building, no platform, nothing. And as my heart was pounding and my thoughts were racing, I had to tell myself that I had already completed thirteen of these towers, suspended by a harness and a wedgie, and survived. Well, I'm still here.

2. I will say the same about parasailing, but at least I had a couple of margaritas on board once again.

3. Kayaking in an underground cavern complete with stalactites and stalagmites with more than two other kayaks is just not worth your while. They talk about preserving these structures and that it is forbidden to hit them, but really? Most folks down there are neophytes, and what took the earth thousands or millions of years to produce is being destroyed, slowly, but surely.

Maybe he had too much Gallo.
4. The best German food is in Playa del Carmen. Trust me on that one.

5. Someone in Guatemala thought my Spanish had really improved, actually said it was good. Too much Ron Zacapa, methinks.

6. There is a list of the ten worst airports in North America, Bloomberg Businessweek. No small surprise I have been in 7 of them. I must be doing something really wrong.

7. Even less of a surprise is that Miami airport was on that list. And that my luggage decided to overnight there. Again.

8. Disneyworld is for grown ups. Forget the kids. Really

Meanwhile, in the North:
All the monkeys aren't in the zoo. Some are in Disney World.

a) Readying a northern patient for an ECG is like peeling an onion. You roll up the snow pants. Then the stretchy pants. Or the blue jeans if they are male. Next you roll down a pair of wool socks. Another pair of wool socks. Then the long johns go up, followed by the usually too tight leggings. You might see skin now. Never mind the upper body layers. Jacket, vest, sweatshirt, button shirt, t-shirt, thermal shirt, wife beater. Maybe a bra. And here I am, in minus 30C weather, running between buildings in my greens. With a bra. Just thought you would want to know.

b) I was looking for the thermometer tonight. "Why can't you use that one?" asks the Mom as her child puts the probe of the rectal thermometer in his mouth.

And that is my wee world for now.
My perfect man.